Vietnatarian

So I got a huge hankering for some pho today. The fam and I hit up our local Pho join (Viet Crystal in Centreville) for dinner. They did have Veggie Pho, but was a bit scurred. I tried Veggie Sushi at Matsu and it was the biggest mistake. Wasn't going to make that mistake at Viet Crystal! So instead I opted for the safe bet: Vegetables and Tofu. Can't go wrong. It was good, yadda yadda yadda, but the best part of my meal was the conversation at the table next to us.

The scene: Your traditional Vietnamese restaurant. Mostly empty, with only three tables sat, including ours. We hear every conversation in the dining room. Table next to us is two fat gentlemen. Each about 275 easy. One looks like Newman from Seinfeld. The other looks like Penn from Penn and Teller. Both look like they work in IT (receding hairline, glasses, tucked in polos that are stretched beyond their limit at the belly section. Both have an apparent butt in the front (for girls, I call this a "gunt", but not sure what the male equivalent is).

(This is not verbatim, but pretty damn close)

Penn, eating stir fry something and a side of fried spring rolls: So my EKG tests weren't good. My cholesterol is off the charts, and doctor says I could be in some trouble. (Takes sip of his Cola, continues to eat)

Newman, with a very large bowl in front of him, drool or sauce glistens his chin: My doctor's been saying the same thing to me for years!

It wasn't really the conversation that shocked me. It was everything else. Now that I'm more informed about nutrition, I notice these kind of things. Or wait, it might be just common sense to be shocked. Newman was by far the worse of the two. I'm guessing he's not very skilled at using chopsticks, because several times he would reach in his bowl and eat with his bare hands. His lack of chopstick skills would also cause him to drop a massive amount of food directly on the table, sans placemat. He would then use his chopsticks to push the food from the fish sauce smelling table, on to his hands, and then shovel it into his mouth. Not a drop was wasted. I could hear the wood fibers from his chair start to splinter after every bite, and feel the threads in his pants start to tear.

As disgusting as I think they are...someone may have probably said the same thing about me not too long ago!